You are the founder of the Honeymoon Cottage in Madison, Wisconsin. It’s owned by the couple you seduce. Wow, that sure could make you feel like Casanova, huh? You don’t actually want to marry this guy. You just want to do him…and do him good. You set the scene, eliminate pain, and make sure every last minute on your honeymoon is totally spectacular and delicious. You practice your hookup game, for sure. Let’s face it, sex is better when there is pressure.
To set up for success, have some confidence, courage, and a little self-esteem! Believe you can do it right (of course, you have to give it a try, but if you mess up, no biggie). You need to get the best man for your friend—your husband, a boyfriend, a lover, or a bestie. Then, you show up at his house, at a beach, or at a friend’s place. You warmly shake his hand and strike up a conversation that includes he and she. He might ask her, “Where did you go this time?” You reply with, “L.A. had me on tour. I saw a bunch of friends.” Or you might tell him about your latest blog post, you’re able to talk about your latest HBO show or your philanthropic work. Pick his brain, be a sponge. Listen and learn. You also want to include him in the intimate details of your life and your marriage/family, so he becomes part of it.
Because I already had all of the things I needed to live a fulfilled life: a job, a community of friends, family, and lovers, and the requisite amount of practical skills. However, I also had a long list of unfulfilled desires. I desired to travel to far away places (other than the UK), I wanted to live a creative lifestyle full of experiences, I wanted to meet more people, and I wanted to have greater fulfillment in my work.
No sex, no relationship! I want to be on my own. When in college we would hang out with friends on our nights off and have a “no strings attached” guy. We would fuck each other and maybe even have a relationship if someone liked someone but I could not do that anymore, so it was a good way for me to be on my own and not be linked to someone so tightly.
The elephant in the room when talking about the possibility of casual sex is the issue of abuse. There is a chance that any sexual encounter can be turned into one of power and control, and not just with the partner involved. There is no denying that most people who partake in a hookup are both sexual and emotionally invested in each other, so if you can’t relax and enjoy the moment, then you shouldn’t get involved. If you want casual sex to be fun and guilt-free — and you’re also being selective to ensure that you will actually, sincerely enjoy yourself — then you have to be clear that you’re not in it for the wrong reasons.
And remember that the “hookup” is just an excuse: You might not have the budget for a long-term relationship, but in terms of casual sex, you still want sex. Casual sex is just about as much about emotional connection as it is about physical contact.
Casual sex isn’t just for the young and immature.
Societal views on casual sex have made them more socially acceptable and even fashionable to some, but that doesn’t mean you are necessarily not old or not mature enough to enjoy casual sex. Both parties have to feel that they are in the right place for casual sex. If either person is not into casual sex, then the result could be an awkward and disappointing encounter. Even if one party is fine with it, the other party could be set off by awkwardness or frustration, and this could put a damper on the entire experience.
But going by research, casual sex doesn’t mean that a person who’s involved in it is not in touch with their higher emotions. In fact, it’s likely to cause them to be far more empathetic towards others, and more open to intimacy.
Think of it this way: Hooking up provides a safe way for a person to find out more about a new partner without having to worry about social acceptance. It can allow for the expression of raw emotion that otherwise might be suppressed, which can actually be a good thing.
You should also be open to sexual activities that may seem new to you. The most important thing you can do in casual sex is be 100 percent honest about your desires, as well as preferences.
Casual sex used to be considered something only to be done by people who were uncaring and selfish. Now, it’s nearly a universal goal of adulthood. It’s also not limited to a certain age.
However, you’ll want to be cautious when